Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize