I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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