dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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