I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
