Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
