it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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