I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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