Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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