you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize