You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize