Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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