Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
