Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
