Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
