thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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