Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
