well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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