It's Friday. Sex?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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