whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
