Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
