It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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