Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
