dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
