woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize