Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
