I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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