Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
