Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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