pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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