That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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