just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize