You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
And then he peed in my hair
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