The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
