He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
