its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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