How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
