I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
