I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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