So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
