One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize