Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
