she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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