I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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