she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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