YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Is it because I queefed?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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