i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
