I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We had sex on a dog bed..
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
