I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
