dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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