Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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