Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
