i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
