I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
