i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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