On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
