is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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