oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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