Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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