why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize