u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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