Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
