I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
